Simple Things

A Reflection

Simple Things I can’t do with chronic pain:

Give a massage. Get out of bed (without AT LEAST 15 minutes of mental preparation). Take a long shower. Run up the stairs to catch my train. Tie my hair in a bun without needing to take multiple breaks. Open jars. Carry groceries in one trip. Button up my shirts. Get a good night’s sleep. Type for extended periods of time. Fasten or unfasten necklaces. Bring a hamper full of clean laundry up the stairs from the laundry room. Shampoo my hair (without needing a break). Make my bed. Text. Drive. Stand for long periods of time. Read. Bend down to pick up something I dropped. Sit on hard floors. Spare the emotional or mental energy to deal with anything or anyone else in my life. Wake up early enough to pack myself a lunch or make myself a breakfast. Clean my room. Turn my keys in my door. Cross my legs. Write.

Talk about it without making other people feel weird or uncomfortable.

Talk about it without feeling like a burden.

But the number one thing I can’t do with chronic pain is: just lie in bed and feel sorry for myself… at least, not every day.

Some days (or weeks or months) are bad. Like really bad. Like be in bed by 7, and cry yourself to restless sleep bad.

But other days are good. Like really good. Like you could choreograph and perform a dance routine to Beyoncé good.

And although I’m not there yet, I’m trying to take some time to take care of myself. 🌸✨

Simple Things I CAN do with chronic pain:

Laugh. Smile. Listen to music. Hang out with friends. Tell people I love them. Make other people tell me they love me. Rewatch The Office. Daydream. Cry. Put myself first. Run a bath that’s more epsom salt than water. Listen to a podcast. Light a candle. Ask for help. Hug my dad. Hold hands with my mom (& try to guilt her into a hand massage). Facetime a friend. Call a sibling. Take painkillers. Microwave heating pads. Read Buzzfeed listicles. Pet a dog. Read poetry. Meditate (or at least download a meditation app and never use it). Listen. Talk. Be a good friend.

Be soft with myself.

Forgive my body. 🌱🌼✨